Fights and loneliness

I don't know what to say, but I must write, otherwise I will forget.
I don't know what is going on between me and my husband... but I suspect neither of us is happy.
Maybe my expectations are too high (even though I had planned to have zero expectations, it seems that is easier said than done). I wish someone could tell me..is it just me/my husband or is it men.
I would like my husband to offer help without me asking, and if I do ask, I would like him to do it without sighing and making me feel like I have pushed him so far away from his comfort zone.
The last 3 or 4 times we have had guests, I have done 97% of the work- From the planning, shopping and cooking the food to Setting the table and serving the guests. Today, I got really fed up and asked him, as he lay on the couch watching soccer, if in his eyes there was any difference between me and a domestic worker, he said I was prettier..thinking he was funny. I smiled but really, it wasn't funny as I was serious.
Later he said to me that he gave up eating dinner at home because I made him feel that I was cooking and he wasn't, that all he did was come home from work and eat...so he decided, to be fair, he would stop eating.. SERIOUSLY???!!!
If I say anything, what I feel, it is turned around and I regret saying anything. I don't know how my life can go on like this... I want to pull my hair out, I want to scream, I want to scratch my skin off. I am so frustrated. I love him but I don't understand him and he doesnt understand me... Love doesn't seem to be enough. I can't say anything because it will be another even bigger fight.
I felt he wasn't hearing me out today and I got so frustrated, cursed (which I never do) and threw my hair drier on the floor in anger...it broke.
I'm so tired, I'm so cried out, I have no close friends here...I feel like I just want to die, I feel so alone, so lonely.
I want to be happy. I'm going crazy.